Thursday, 6 March 2014


Often I use diabetes as a reason to get out of things and although most of the time I use it as a joke (Like for example, sometimes if someone is passing me a flyer in the street that I don't want, I'll speed up my walk and just say 'Diabetes!' as if that's somehow a valid reason for not taking paper from someone). Sometimes I think it can get in the way, so when my cousin asked me to enter a pancake eating contest, which I initially really wanted to go to, I thought to myself that i've got too much work, I've got deadlines looming and most importantly how am I gonna count all those carbs!!??
I told her that I couldn't but after realising how boring I am and some persistence from her I said yes and gave it a go. I'm not the most adventurous person and that's probably because I like my comfort zone, (here comes the cliche) but I've come to realise how mundane days can be if you don't take chances or opportunities when they come to you. This probably wasn't the most adventurous thing, but its a start.

I came into the contest very confidently and with tactics in tow. The contest wan't timed, but more of a volume challenge i.e. the person who eats the most, wins! My tactic was simple, eat as much as I can as fast as I can so that I don't get too full too quickly. This tactic would have worked if the chef wasn't making just 1 at a time to begin with. However after asking the waitress to make more than one at a time, I managed to pick up the pace.

Things started quite civilised. I used a knife and fork to carve out about a quarter of each pancake for each mouthful. After 3 pancakes, I noticed a couple of children attempting to eat their body weight in cooked batter, which inspired me to go as fast as I could.

Every now and then I would glance over to these 2 little nerds (kettle pot black) to see how many pancakes they stuffed and they would just stare at me while I ate. They were clearly trying to psych me out but I just stared right back while shovelling sugary pancakes into my mouth. The more I ate the less they seemed to enjoy themselves and for some reason that gave me a little bit of a buzz. There's something about crushing the dream of a child that just gave me a rush. I tried to chase this feeling and as I was pretty sure I was ahead I felt better than ever!

The kids gave up, as I expected and as I sarcastically waved goodbye. As their parents left, they just casually mentioned that I should give up as their little turds had eaten 13 each!!
I got a bit desperate and had to stuff as many pancakes in as fast as possible as I started to fill up.

But sadly I couldn't get past 11 and a half and I had to give up. 

I couldn't crush the dreams of those annoying kids but at least I gave it my best.
I suppose the moral (as there is for many of my stories) is children are not the future… best them wherever possible and maybe try new things or whatever.

Do you dislike toddlers or even nerds (i.e. me)?

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